1. Get a Korean child who is an animated Cabbage Patch Kid.
2. Remove the Cabbage
3. Place in bowl.
4. Add powdered red pepper
TIP #1: Go to the grocery store and search through the pile of peppers. Imagine they are a pair of pants and find the ones you feel would chafe you the most.
5. Mix in scholastic competitiveness, sunshine, belief in “fan death”, sickening adorability, and an obscene amount of national pride.
6. Let it ferment/marinate in smugness and academic intensity for 8 years.
7. Hawk up as much phlegm as you can and spit it in the bowl
8. You now have Brian KimChi
TIP #2: Best served with a glass of Korean whine.
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you're an awful human being and i love you.
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