The bigger the bacon, the fatter the pig

When I first came to Korea, I was excited, to say the least. I am a huge M*A*S*H fan and one of the proud investments in my life is my M*A*S*H t-shirt. Once arrived, I wore it loud and proud, like christians* who wear crosses flagrantly around their neck.

Case in point: I was walking around the Hongdae district within my first couple of weeks in Korea, clad in the upperbody uniform of the 4077**, when I was approached by a police officer. At the time, I was admittedly intoxicated, yet jovial as one can expect to be whilst experiencing a new culture/country. The officer, however, was not going through same high-spirited 'fiesta in the streets' as I was. Heavily irked by the shirt, he condemned it as offensive "after all Korea had gone through with 'the war'". I responded with, "well it was a fucking wicked movie, and an even more entertaining TV show", or something along those lines. Long story short, by the end of the argument, I was detained in the local jail/drunk tank, for hours on end. Unwavering, I did and WILL continue to assert the lack of instigation on my part, and the total abuse of power by that one Korean flatfoot. Yes, eventually, I was released with an apology by a higher ranking official; but that incident always stuck in my craw.

Over time, I have come to forgive the Korean police department (even the individual officer), and all that occurred. The scar left by that event healed over, and eventually became a beauty mark that I think accentuates my very being, my soul (yes, I was tempted to write SEOUL... "uh guh").

I drank a bottle of soju with a patrolman who was on duty a while back, and it will remain an endearing moment in my life. My opinions of authorities run deep, but I would like to say, I had come to fully support the Korean police force.

That is, until today... when I discovered their newest JUNIOR recruit: Brian Kim

Briam Kim puts the "Lice" in Police. Fuck knows he has me scratching my head most the time.

* if you are offended that I didn't spell 'christians' with a capital "C", then you probably took even more offense to the word "flagrantly" and most likely shouldn't be reading this shit.

**look it up, you non-M*A*S*H watching cunts!