Monday, April 19, 2010

Do Unto Others...



The easiest way to control a class in this country, atleast, a younger class, just blows my mind. You use the "star system"*. Every class, I write their names on the board, and they blow their load the second they get a star. If they act up, I just threaten to erase a star. I kind of see it like a classful of ostentatious boyscouts, the more bullshit badges they get, the less empty they feel inside. And to what end? It isn't like I give them a prize or anything for having the most stars. Somehow, they have been conditioned to believe that once they have a star next to their name, they have climbed the classroom ladder just enough to be promoted to headgeek. Just like peacocks like to show off their feathers, so too do the kids in my class with stars, and as we've all been learning, Brian Kim puts the COCK in peacock.
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It was about midway through class, with 5 stars each, Brian Kim and Kevin were neck'n'neck in the loser race that is the star accreditation system, when this went down:

Brian Kim: Teacher! Kevin is reading a comic, he is hide it under his workbook! Erase a star!
Teacher: (walking over to the board and erasing stars) There we go, one star erased from Kevin, and one star erased from you.
Brian Kim: TEACHER! That is MY star! (sounding raspy like Golem losing his precious)Why you erase MY star.
Teacher: Because,
Brian Kim-my Gibbler, you are a tattle-tale.
Brian Kim: What is tattle-tale?
Teacher: When you tell on someone for doing something 'bad'.
Brian Kim: But, that is good thing! That is how police catch bad people!
Leo: Yeah teacher! That is a good thing.
Teacher: Be quiet "Lay-O", and stay out of this. This is between me and Brian, you should be spending your time wondering why on earth your name is spelled Leo, and retardedly pronounced Lay-o. I think that is pretty "Gay-o" if you ask me. Now, back to you Brian, yes, it can be a good thing when someone has broken a law, but when you do it in a classroom, to buddy up to the teacher, and increase your star standing, then it is the wrong to do it. Teacher is not your friend, he is your teacher. And besides, I am not friends with tattle-tales, just gossipers**.
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10 Minutes Later in class:

Kevin: Teacher, Brian Kim is drawing on his desk!
Teacher: uh-oh Brian, looks like you lose a star, (erasing a star) which puts Kevin in the lead.
Brian Kim: (golem) NO TEACHER! Kevin is tattle-tale! He should lose star too!
Teacher: No, No, Kevin is not a tattle-tale.
Brian Kim: Yes teacher, he just tattle-tale me for drawing on desk!
Teacher: No Brian, see, what Kevin did kind of overules being called a tattle-tale. What he did isn't called tattling, it's called PAYBACK.

*the Star Accreditation System comes in many forms, it could be happy faces instead of stars, or stickers, check marks, etc... bottom line is it is all just a bunch of bullshit flare to keep the kids distracted.

*the current gossip on the street is that Brian Kim Awareness week is approaching. Stay tuned for more details.

1 comment:

  1. ahahaha (+h) kimmy gibbler?! haven't thought about her since i was like 10 and even then i hated that bitch. funny how brian kim awareness week is almost upon us and the only person unaware is brian kim. it's like the truman show. what will he do next...?

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