The More You Know

Top 10 Ways To Diagnose If You Are Dealing With A Brian Kim In Your Class:
(In Order Of Subtle To Obvious Signs)

10. The worse you treat them, the more they like you. 9. Under the old addage, "you are what you eat", this child would eat nothing but Korean flags, and shit out concentrated nationalism, if he could. 8. The child constantly raises his hand in class, when you've made it blatantly clear that you are a "hip teacher" who doesn't subscribe to that conservative, conformist bullshit. 7. Even though there is a kid in your class whose named is spelled "Leo", but pronounced "Lay-O", you still despise this other kid more. 6. At the end of the first week of teaching this child, you are forced to drink so heavily that you beg your best friend at 3am to give you a makeshift vasectomy (or tubal ligation if you are a woman) in an effort to curb the possibility of ever having a child like this of your own. 5. This kid somehow resists his innate Korean urge to give you a 똥침 (Dong Chim), even when you are bent over in prime Dong Chim position, because he'd rather curry favor with the teacher, than the rest of the class. 4. You've changed your mind about a vasectomy (or TL), in hopes that one day your child will kick this child's ass. 3. To them, walking into a stationary store is better than walking into a toy store. 2. At his parent's insistance, he carries a mini-fan in his pocket, like mace, because of his family's steadfast belief of fan-death. 1. You, an "adult", suddenly find yourself writing a smear campaign online about an 8 year old boy.